Couple Married For Decades Reveals The Secrets That Keep Them Together

April 20, 2017

People don't go into marriage knowing it will end in divorce but with half of marriage calling it quits, what are the keys to cultivating a forever marriage? In short, it is more than love.  A recent project was completed in which organizers aced couples that had been married for more than 10 years to give their thoughts on how they've lasted.  What researchers found is that of the 1,500 couples who responded with their stories they were incredibly repetitive in the theme of how they've stayed married. For instance, of those who were on their 2nd to 4th marriage they point out not to get married for the wrong reasons, such as family pressure, settling for someone because you feel you'll never get married, being together for image and thinking love is all you need to make it work.  Another common theme is open communication, especially about the things that hurt you.  If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy. It may hurt, but you still need to do it. No one else can fix your relationship for you. Nor should anyone else.  Which leads to communication, which is not the number one reason relationships last, it's respect. Although those married 10 to 20 years place communication as tops for their success, couples marries more than 30 years say it’s respect. Most likely why respect seems to grow with age is that communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Couples who have experienced this say respect will eventually re-open the lines of communication.

SOURCE: QZ

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