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How To Find Patience When You Are Annoyed

December 28, 2017

Poet William Langland wrote that “patience is a fair virtue.” But after all the Christmas shopping your patience may be running a bit thin.  So here is some advice from a psychologist to find patience when you’re annoyed. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen has come up with a five-point guide of letting go of annoyance and find patience. 1. Know that your goal will still be achieved. Impatience and annoyance often crop up not because we’re not getting what we want. For instance when you are waiting in a line to check out, it helps to remember that our goal will still happen.  We’ll still get to make our purchase.  Your delayed flight doesn't mean you'll never get home. 2. Give yourself what you need in your imagination. Lots of us have an idealized version of ourselves in our minds. Ask yourself what it is and then imagine that you have it. Whether it’s inner peace or a remote control that pauses time so you can skip to the front of the line, just imagining that you have that magic something can be soothing. And for intangibles like inner peace, it can actually get you at least part of the way there. 3. Change your conclusion. We always think we know what’s going on. The line is moving slowly because the cashier is bad or a customer that doesn't have their act together. It’s not the slow line or the request for help that necessarily annoys us, but what we’re assuming because of it. So change those assumptions, as generously as you can. Imagine your way into that as-if—it’s as real as whatever other conclusions you might’ve been drawing. 4. Pretend you’re being watched. Whether you imagine you’re being watched by someone you want to impress or by someone for whom you want to set a good example, you have it in you to behave calmly and happily and this situation can be the incentive to do it. 5. Save the story for later. What better way to pass the time in a frustrating situation than to start composing you’re oh my god you won’t believe the day I had rant. But stop!  It will only make you more frustrated.  Instead figure out what the story would be of your long but pleasant afternoon at the checkout lane. Did you see a woman in a cool hat? Was a kid being weird and cute? Or was your patience personified? Get ready for that story to be the one you tell.

SOURCE: Lifehacker

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